Are printers alive?

Has anybody noticed that printers are very emotional, moody beings that need to be talked to, cursed at, or even blackmailed before they print a page?
We had a small HP printer which was so emotional that we reached the point of patting the printer and talking to it before giving the print command. One bad word, and the printer would throw the printed papers all over the room. Let me list the reasons why I think printers are alive:

1. They usually play hard-to-get, and don’t print the first time you give the print command.
2. When you try to cancel a print command, they play high-handed and refuse to cancel it.
3. Sometimes, they become over-enthusiastic and print out all those copies you gave ages back, but cancelled ages back too.
4. After a lot of fuss with printing, sometimes you just need to restart the printer, and it would behave like nothing happened and print normally.
5. If you give it too many papers to print, it will try to find some fault with your command and stop obeying.
6. It loves throwing the papers it printed all over the floor instead of neatly stacking it in the allocated place.
7. If you have an urgent document to print, it will suddenly say that there is no ink or give all kinds of error messages.
8. Home printers are usually more fussy and non-professional compared to office printers.
9. If my printer happens to read this blog entry, it will never again print all its life.

So be good to your printer. Say good words, praise it liberally when a page was printed well, and don’t give it too much work. It helps to have a good relationship with your printer.

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